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“WTF Is Wrong With Me?” (Spoiler: It’s Your Nervous System): A First Responder's Guide to Trauma, Stress, and Nervous System Functioning

Let’s be real — the stuff you see on the job? Most people would run screaming. But you? You roll up, take charge, drop a sarcastic comment, and save lives. Then you grab a half-warm burrito and do it all over again.

But if you’ve ever found yourself yelling at a traffic cone or crying over a commercial with a puppy in it — you’re not broken. You’re not crazy. You’re not weak.

Your nervous system is just tired as hell.

Your Body’s Not Being Dramatic — It’s Doing Its Job

Your body doesn’t care how tough you are or how many years you’ve got on the job. It cares about keeping you alive. Thanks to something called Polyvagal Theory (don’t worry, there’s no quiz), we know the nervous system is constantly scanning for danger — even when you think you're fine.

So after a gnarly call? Your system goes into fight, flight, or freeze — which might feel like rage, shutdown, or a total brain fog that leaves you wondering why you walked into the supply room for the fifth damn time.

Over time, your nervous system starts throwing red flags like you're storming a burning building — even if all you're doing is trying to order a damn sandwich without flipping out at the guy who says, “We’re out of bread.”

“Why Am I Like This?” — Oh, Right, Trauma

Let’s normalize this:

  • You’re not an a**hole for being irritable — your system thinks it’s still on scene.
  • You’re not heartless for feeling nothing — numbness is self-protection.
  • You’re not weak for needing more rest — your nervous system is running a marathon in bunker gear.

You are having a completely normal response to abnormal shit.

According to SAMHSA, first responders experience PTSD, anxiety, and depression at rates 2–3 times the national average. That’s not a moral failing — that’s exposure. Repeated, raw, relentless exposure.

And if no one’s told you lately: You weren’t meant to carry all this without support.

Calm the Hell Down (With Science)

Here are a few ways to help your body get out of survival mode — no kumbaya circle required:

  • Move your body. Walk. Stretch. Chuck something at a dumpster (safely). Movement clears stress hormones.
  • Hydrate. Yes, actual water. Not energy drinks. Not coffee. (Okay, maybe coffee and water.)
  • Breathe like you don’t want to punch someone. Slow exhales tell your system it’s safe again.
  • Anchor yourself. Feel your boots. Notice sounds. Smell your gear (yep, that’s eau de burnout and bravery). Get back in your body.
  • Talk to your people. Peer support, dark humor, dumb memes — connection helps regulate your nervous system.

CISM and Peer Support: Real Help, No BS

You don’t have to spill your guts, but talking it out works. Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) teams and peer supporters exist because they’ve been where you are — maybe not on the same call, but in the same kind of storm.

Talking to someone who gets it can keep the trauma from sinking deeper into your system. And that might be the most important gear you ever pick up.

When the Job Gets Under Your Skin

For the stuff that stays stuck — the nightmares, the panic, the “can’t shut it off” — sometimes the body needs extra help. That’s where trauma-informed therapies come in:

  • Somatic Experiencing® helps your body complete stress cycles and get unstuck.
  • EMDR helps your brain reprocess trauma, like rebooting a system with a thousand pop-ups.
  • Brainspotting uses where you look and what you feel to find and release trauma stored deep in the brain.

You don’t have to talk it all out. You don’t have to remember every call. These approaches are built for the folks who see the worst and still show up anyway.

But — and this is important — not all therapists are trained to work with first responders. And that’s okay. Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all, and it’s completely valid to want someone who understands the unique culture, humor, and trauma load that comes with the job.

That’s where Certified First Responder Counselors (CFRCs) come in. These clinicians have completed a 50-hour training focused specifically on responder mental health. They speak the language, get the dark humor, and won’t blink when you say the quiet parts out loud.

You can find a CFRC who truly “gets it” by searching the directory here.

Final Words (With Love and Maybe a Few F-Bombs)

If your fuse is short, your sleep is wrecked, or your heart feels a little frozen — it’s not because you’ve failed. It’s because you’ve absorbed more than most people will in a lifetime.

You’re not broken. You’re a responder with a fried nervous system.

And that? That can be healed.

Even the toughest folks need a reset sometimes. Give yourself the same compassion you’d offer someone else in the middle of a shitstorm.

References & Resources